Blackmailing Sam
by Onigiri49
Summary: Freddie catches Sam in a private moment. Which results in the perfect way to get back at her for all the mean things she's done to him! He decides to blackmail her into dating him for a week - or he'll tell everyone what he saw. Not even Carly knows...
1. 1st chapter

**I do not own these characters. Seriously, I don't.**

"Mom, I'm headed over to Carly's!" Freddie calls out as he opens the front door.

"Wait! Don't forget your anti-tick lotion! You could have ticks right now all over you and not even know it!" She cries earnestly.

"I'm fine, don't wor-" he's cut off.

"Take it!" She hands the lotion to him.

"But…" he protests.

"Take it! You need it!" She thrusts it into his hands.

Freddie sighs, "Okay, okay." He puts it in his pocket begrudgingly. "I'm going…" He closes the door leaving his mother behind with a worried expression. Before he can open Carly's door she walks out followed by Spencer.

"Oh, hey Freddie. Spencer and I will be back in a few." She smiles. "We're just picking up some supplies for his furniture face creation," she tells him.

"Furniture face creation?" Freddie repeats, puzzled.

Carly shrugs, "Yeah, you'll see. Anyway, Sam's upstairs. I already told her."

"It'll be awesome!" Spencer excitedly tells Freddie as he passes him.

Carly waves, "Be right back."

"Later." Freddie walks in through the living room and heads up the stairs. He opens the door to find a very surprising scene: Sam lounged on a beanbag chair with her left hand down her baggy pants (still zipped up), softly moaning. Upon hearing him enter the room she swiftly takes her hand out and springs up standing, staring at Freddie – the mood completely gone in a flash.

Mouth agape, Freddie breaks the silence. "Were you just…?"

Sam quickly responds, keeping her expression the same, "No I wasn't."

Freddie pauses, replaying in his mind what he just saw, "Yeah you were."

More defiantly and louder, "I wasn't doing _any_thing, Freddie."

He smiles a bit at her, "I could tell everyone at school that I caught Sam Puckett masturb-" Sam clasps her hands over his mouth, stopping him. Her eyes are wide in shock.

"Don't you say a word to anyone! Not even Carly. Or else I'll beat you to a hurt beyond recognition." She threatens, eyes glowering at him.

He yanks her hands off. "No chance. When I tell just one kid it'll spread throughout the entire student body and you'll be laughed out of school. You'll run off. You couldn't hit me – too many eye witnesses," he says confidently.

She takes a step back, stunned, "But you uhh… you can't."

"I can and I will." He crosses his arms and turns his back to her, "Unless…"

Warily, "Unless what?"

He turns back around, "Unless…" He looks down to the ground pondering just how to get back at her. He looks back up satisfied with his choice: "You pretend to date me for a week."

Taken aback, "What?! But we don't even like each other, why would you want to date me?" She asks.

"_Pretend_ to date," he corrects. "And you don't like so it's perfect."

Sam stares angrily at him, thinking. She shakes her head, "Oh, just go ahead and spill."

"Are you sure that's what you want? Which is worse?"

Sam rethinks her decision. She raises an eyebrow, "One week?"

Freddie gives a single nod, "One week."

"Fine."

"Great. Starting tomorrow, you're my sweetums." He smiles at her.

Sam's sudden urge to hit is interrupted when Carly steps in the room.

"Hey guys." She stops, "Uh, what's going on?"

Sam changes her mood, "Nothing, Carls."

"Okay. Freddie, go make sure the Kablam song is ready," Carly instructs.

He does so, "Downloaded and ready to play."

"We're starting in about ten minutes for iCarly. Our first act is the manly voices." She deepens her voice, "'Hey, I'm Carlson!' and then you say," she tells Sam, referring to her, "'And I'm Mallory! I mean, Samuel!' and together we say "And this is the iCarlson show!' and I continue, 'Where cartoons and comics collide! Now to take you inside and turn the pages! Here are your hosts…'" She goes back to her normal voice, "'Carly aaand…" She motions her hands over to Sam.

Sam, boredly, "Sam.'"

Freddie plays the Kablam intro on cue.

"Freddie, turn it off." He complies. Carly turns to Sam, "Why aren't you dancing? Or sounding happy? Why aren't you happy dancing?? C'mon, we have a show to run in…" she checks her watch, "six minutes."

"I got it. I was just distracted."

"Well don't be when we go live. Okay, after that I explain to the younger viewers of iCarly that they may not know about Kablam."

Freddie interjects, "_We_ don't."

"Yes." She continues, "But that my older brother Spencer has always been a kid at heart and he used to watch it when he was a teen. So what's the act after that?"

"Um… crazy paper cutting." Sam answers.

"Right. Where we crazily cut pieces of paper with scissors!" She grins, "I think we're ready!"

The iCarly web show goes on normally.


	2. 2nd chapter

**I still don't own these characters.**

"Hey, hey, Carlay!… and friends…" Spencer exclaims when Carly, Sam and Freddie come out of the elevator. They say hey back.

"Whacha workin' on there, Spence?" Sam asks him, sitting down on the couch with the others.

"Well here I have these six white lamps I've been painting red with… uh, red paint. And when glued together they'll form red juicy lips! 'cause they'll be in the shape of a smile!" He says cheerfully, putting emphasis on the word 'smile'.

"Why go through all the trouble with the red paint if you could've just gotten red lamps?" Freddie questions.

"They ran out." He shrugs, "Apparently red lamps are popular these days."

"How could lamps look good as lips?" Sam wonders.

Spencer puts down his brush and outlines a lamp with his hands. "Look at it. The figure… it's sexy." He grins.

"Whatever you say." Sam changes the subject. "I want ham. Got any?"

Carly giggles, "Sure." She heads over to the kitchen.

"It's been fun, but I gotta go help my mom with the laundry." Freddie announces.

"Why does she need help?" Carly asks him, turning around.

"She doesn't. It's just an idea of hers for a mother-son bonding time." He tells her.

"Um… okay." Carly says.

"See you guys tomorrow at school," Freddie waves. When his eyes go over to Sam he holds the gaze longer than usual. Sam notices and inwardly sighs. 'It's going to be a long week' she thinks to herself.

"Hey, Carly. Forget the ham. I'll just have some turkey." Sam tells her as she follows her into the kitchen.

"But you love ham more than turkey." She states unequivocally.

"I kind of lost my appetite for it," Sam says vaguely.

"All right..." She complies, puzzled. Little does Carly realize, Sam's strange attitude has but only just begun.

--

**Next Morning**

Sam slams her locker shut loudly. Carly, besides her, gets a questioning look, "Something up?"

Sam lies through her teeth, "No, everything's a peach."

Freddie walks over. "Hey Carly." He turns to Sam. "Sugar cakes."

Carly widens her eyes ready for whatever Sam is bound to do to him.

Sam forces a smile, "And to you… ugh, muffin." She scowls in disgust to herself.

"So…" he leans on a nearby locker facing the girls, "I was thinkin' that you could have dinner at my place tonight, Sam."

Sam bites down her lower lip in frustration. "I'll have to decline," she says politely.

"You'll get free food," Freddie reminds her flatly.

"I'll be obliged to come," Sam tells him with a fake smile.

"Good, see you at seven. Don't be late." He leaves cheerily.

Sam waits for him to leave the area then rushes to the girls' bathroom. A bewildered and speechless Carly runs after her. Sam goes into a stall and screams for several seconds. A girl from another, frightened, dashes out of her stall. She passes Carly who comes in and waits for Sam to end her screaming. Finally, Sam stops and comes out of her stall, not at all surprised to find Carly standing there. She heads to the door ignoring her.

Carly yanks her arm back, "Hey!"

"Ow!" Sam yelps.

"Don't 'ow' me. What was that?!" she demands.

"I can't help saying 'ow', that hurt," she reiterates matter-of-factly, rubbing her arm.

"Tell me what just happened. What's with all this lovey dovey talk?" She questions her friend.

"It's nothing. Forget it." Sam exasperatedly tells her.

"Why did he ask you out for dinner?" she continues.

Sam sighs, "I have to. He's trying to make me miserable. I can't do anything about it." Sam answers sadly.

"Wait… Freddie has a hold on _you_?" Sam nods in response. "He's blackmailing you? With what??"

"I can't tell you." Mid-sentence the school bell rings.

"This isn't over." Carly exits the bathroom headed for class. Sam follows unhappily.


	3. 3rd chapter

**I wish I owned the character Sam. But alas...**

The two walk in the classroom and by a snoozing teacher with her head on her desk. They take their seats.

"Oh, Randy…" she mumbles in her sleep, "Yes, of course I will be your wife. I will be Mrs. Francine Jackson." She hugs a pencil jar to her chest, cuddling it.

The class laughs as they watch the drowsy Ms. Briggs spill her secrets. She wakes up with a snorting snore. Her jerky movements from sudden awakening knock the jar bouncing – the pencils fly everywhere: one lands on her hair. "Ahh! Ambush!" She screams, not fully awake.

"Look out Ms. Briggs! They're coming right after you!" Sam exclaims, loosening up her previous sour mood.

She shrieks in panic hitting more pencils, some sheets of paper, and a stapler. A couple of the pencils fall to the floor, including the stapler with a thud. The papers scatter around. "What? What?! Somebody help!"

"Sam!" Carly whispers loudly, jabbing her side for fooling with the teacher.

Ms. Briggs wakes up fully. She hears Carly and stares directly at Sam. "Young lady! You did this mess!"

"Uh, no Ms. Briggs!" Sam yells in protest, caught off guard by the accusation.

"It's true. Sam didn't sabotage your desk… this time." Carly adds in defense.

"Ah! So I presume it was Gibby, then, was it?" She says sarcastically, used to Sam usually blaming him.

"Wha- _me_?" Gibby asks in surprise, pointing to himself.

"But I-I…" Sam stutters.

"Principal's office! Now!" Ms. Briggs orders sternly.

"Aww." Sam frowns as she swings her backpack on. She looks at Carly.

"Sorry." Carly whispers, empathizing.

"Eh. I'm used to it." Sams says defeatedly.

"Now, Ms. Puckett!" Ms. Briggs points to the door.

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving." She tells her sullenly.

--

"Hey, Ted." Sam smiles as she enters his office, trying to be friendly, hoping to get a light sentence.

He looks at her with a flat expression.

"I mean Principal Franklin." She sits down.

"Nice to see you again... Let's get this over with quickly. Why are you here?" He asks her, tired of the routine.

"No reason." Sam twiddles with her thumbs, bored out of her mind, equally as tired.

"I see. So there _is_ a reason." He establishes, looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"I'm serious this time. Ms. Briggs fell asleep at her desk and kept flailing around bumping her stuff on the table. Then she blamed me when she woke up 'cause Carly said my name!"

"And why did Carly do that?" He questions calmly.

"Because... uh, I kind of got Ms. Briggs dreaming she was being attacked. Which is why she... flailed her arms... and stuff," Sam admits.

"Uh huh. And why did you do that?" He bends his arms and rests his chin on his hands.

"To... have fun? I was just playing around." Sam grins optimistically.

"Not on school property. And especially not with a teacher. You're here not to harass teachers, but to respect them. You're in school to-"

"To learn. Yeah, I know." She rolls her eyes.

"Correct. So, you were sent here for the wrong reason, but your action lead to what she did."

"Yeah, I guess." Sam shrugs.

"Why was she sleeping?" He asks.

"I don't know. I was last to make it to class."

"Of course. Well, I'll talk to her about that. In the meantime..." he gets up, "_You _have detention twice this week for what you did. Come after school today and on Friday."

"On Friday too?! Why not just put my hand in a blender?" She cries.

"Then don't do it again. That's all I can say." He goes to the door gesturing her out. "Go back to class. See you at detention."

"Yeah. And tomorrow." Sam leaves despondently. Her day just keeps getting worse and worse.


	4. 4th chapter

**I don't own Mrs. Benson either… but I wouldn't want to anyway.**

"You little buggers. You're not staying here. No siree. When I'm done with you you'll be in germ heaven." Mrs. Benson sprays some Windex on her window and firmly tries to scrub the specks off with a cloth.

Freddie comes up behind her. "Uh, mom? Got a sec?"

"Of course, honey." She turns to him.

"I've got something to tell you. Um… I kinda sorta… in a way maybe invited Sam over for dinner. Tonight." He tells her cautiously, rubbing his shoulder in anticipation of her response.

Mrs. Benson widens her eyes, "Did she do something to you Fredward? Did she–"

"No! No, mom. It's nothing like that."

"But she's so aggressive. Really, sweetie, are you okay?" She holds a hand to his head checking his temperature, concerned as only a mother could.

"Yes, I'm all right. Let's just say I'm, uh, killing her with kindness. Who knows? Maybe me inviting her over will give her an attitude adjustment." He lies.

Mrs. Benson gushes, "Oh, aren't you just the most precious boy ever?" She kisses his head multiple times.

"Mom, mom! Stop with the kissing." He complains. She complies. "She'll be here tonight at 7."

"Oh, your clothes! You'll need your green and red striped vest and your tie and your khaki pants and–" She rattles on.

"Mo-om!" Freddie cries.

"And your hair! It needs to be fluffed. Look at it! You don't take good care of it like I've taught you." She fusses.

Freddie groans to himself.

--

**At 6:57 pm**

Sam goes up to Freddie's door, about to knock. She puts her hand back down to her side and paces the hall, trying to muster up all her courage to get through the night. She faces the door again, puts on her I-don't-give-a-crap-about-anyone face, and knocks.

Freddie opens the door with a smug smile as he sees Sam standing there. "Glad you could make it. Come on in."

Sam silently follows him to the kitchen. "Take a seat. Dinner's almost ready." He goes to the counter and picks up two glasses filled with cranberry juice. He places one in front of Sam, "Here's your drink." He goes to his seat with his.

Sam leans over and whispers, to avoid Freddie's mom overhearing, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I can't be mean with my mom here. But anyway, this isn't going to be all that fun. You'll see." He 'assures' her.

Sam glares at him.

"All righty! I've prepared a lovely little quiche for dinner." Mrs. Benson beams, placing it on the table. "Careful now, it's very hot."

Sam brightens up, "Is there ham in it?"

"Oh, no. That's much too much for my little boy. Can't spoil him now can I missy?" She says as she takes off her oven mitts.

Were this to have been said at any other time, Sam would've laughed, but instead she just looks down and says, "Yes, Mrs. Benson."

"I've had a late lunch so I'm not hungry. Call me if you need me. I'll be in the other room." She tells them.

"Okay, thanks mom." Freddie says.

"You two help yourselves. It's already cut into slices of course, so my handsome man doesn't hurt himself with the knives."

Sam forgets to stay polite and bursts out laughing saying the first thing that comes to her mind: "Aw… he might cut himself with the wittle knives!" She grins.

Freddie frowns.

"Hey, miss sassy mouth. I have worked very hard preparing this dinner and I'd appreciate it if you showed some gratitude towards Freddie and me." Mrs. Benson orders her.

Sam stops laughing. "I'm sorry. I won't do that again, I promise."

Mrs. Benson leaves.

They start eating in an uncomfortable silence that lasts for several minutes just staring at each other every now and then.

Freddie breaks the silence, chuckling, "You… you know I can't believe what you were doing yesterday in the iCarly studio."

Sam puts down her fork and looks up at him sternly.

He continues, ignoring her, "I mean… it was so funny! What got you in the, uh, mood anyway?"

Sam looks to a side then back at him, shocked to say anything.

"Are… are you embarrassed?" He asks incredulously. He furrows his eyebrows, "Were you fantasizing about me?"

"That's **it**!" Sam leaps up and lunges over the table trying to grab him by the shirt. Her glass tips over splattering the dark red juice all over her shirt. She gasps loudly. "My shirt!" She exclaims in anger.

"What? What happened?!" Mrs. Benson runs into the kitchen. She sees Sam's shirt. "Oh dear. Well I can have that fixed lickety split. Take off the shirt, I'll have it washed for you."

"Uh, no Mrs. Benson, it's okay. It was just an accident. My, uh, hand knocked into it." Sam protests reclining back in her chair.

"Oh, it'll be fine. You have another underneath. Such a shame this one is light yellow though. C'est la vie, hm?"

Sam sighs and takes off her outer shirt. She hands it to Freddie's mom. "I'll try my best, but it should be good as new before you leave. Don't you worry."

"It's not _that_ I'm worried about…" Sam mutters lowly.

"What was that?" Mrs. Benson asks.

"I said that's very nice of you. Thank-you Mrs. Benson." Sam smiles.

Freddie smirks at Sam. Sam just continues eating wishing the day to be over with.

_Sorry this is up so late. I've been super busy lately._


	5. 5th chapter

**I do own Camden. He's mine so back off.**

Sam grabs a black marker and walks up to her calendar. She draws a big, thick X on yesterday's date. "One miserable day down… six miserable days to go."

Sam gets ready for school putting on a pair of black pants with green vertical stripes, a black turtle neck and her grey sneakers. "Bye mom." She snatches a stale piece of toast her mother had forgotten to eat. Her mother takes a sip of her coffee and mumbles something inaudible. "Yeah, mom. Be home late." Sam steps over her cat, picks up her backpack from the living room chair – swinging it on her back – and takes off out the door.

--

**At School**

"Hey Sam, how'd last night's_ Freddie_ date go?" Carly asks the second she spots Sam by her locker.

"Ugh… don't remind me." Sam grimaces setting her backpack on the floor.

"That bad, huh?" Carly frowns.

"It couldn't have gone worse." Sam tells her with a depressing tone in her voice.

"Your clothes are pretty grim today." Carly acknowledges.

"Yeah, I know." Sam shrugs. "Didn't feel like wearing anything else." She opens up her locker – a pink note with a rose attached to it falls down out of it.

Carly looks confused, "What is that?"

Sam looks up at Carly. "It's a note with a flower, what do you think it is?"

"Well _excuse me_." Carly says sarcastically.

"Sorry, I'm just in a bad mood." Sam picks up the items. "Who would give me a freakin' rose?"

"I think it's cute. I love roses _and_ rose like things."

"Yeah? Well, I don't." Sam sniffs the pink letter.

"What are you doing??" Carly asks her.

"Sniffing it." She says pointedly. "There's perfume on it."

Carly opens her eyes. "Really? Oooh, lemme smell it." Carly places her fingers under the note bringing it to her nose. "It smells nice. Kind of like oranges or something."

"Only person I know to wear orange smelling perfume is Freddie's…" She hesitates coming to a realization, "mom."

"_Freddie_ gave the note?" Carly asks incredulously.

"The rose too." The bells rings. "I'm going to have to thank him later." Sam says cynically. She tosses the rose into a nearby trashcan as she and Carly head to class. Carly looks disapprovingly, but doesn't say anything.

When they sit down in their seats Carly asks, "So you want to read the love letter after school at my place?"

"I have detention. I already told my mom."

"Again? Can't you be good?" Carly questions sadly.

"No I can't." Sam answers back with the usual response. "And why do you think it's a _love_ letter?"

"I just assumed. You and Freddie _are_ dating after all."

"We're _pretend _dating!" Sam corrects her angrily.

"Did I hear right?" A student turns to them. "You and Freddie are dating? And he gave YOU a love letter?"

Sam sighs and repeats, "We are pretend dating!"

"Let me see it!" He grabs for the note Sam is holding.

"No-wah!" Sam scowls, but it's too late. The boy had seized it off her hands. "It's mine Camden. Give it back!"

He grins in triumph, but then frowns when he sees Ms. Briggs standing behind him with her hands on her hips. "Hey, Ms. Briggs. You look particularly lovely today. Did you do something new with your hair?"

"Camden Mitchell, the note. Hand it over." She tells him strictly.

"It's a letter actually." He says sheepishly as he hands it to her.

"I don't care what it is. It belongs to me now. And to teach you and Ms. Puckett over there a lesson about passing notes in the classroom I will be reading it in front of the class." She heads back to the front of the room.

"But Ms. Briggs! You can't! I-it's…" Sam won't admit what it really is to her teacher.

Ms. Briggs smiles at Sam. "Oh, it's personal, is it?" She stands in front of her desk and sniffs the note. "Hm… it smells like tangerines."

"Actually, we thought it smelled like oranges." Carly mentions to Ms. Briggs.

"Carly!" Sam says in an annoyed voice.

Ms. Briggs opens the letter and opens her mouth about to read it.

_I'll end it here. **smiles**  
_


	6. 6th chapter

**I own the poem.**

Ms. Briggs clears her throat. She peers at the letter in confusion, but reads from it anyway.

"Ringlets of gold  
Eyes that stare down cold  
The way she laughs and squeals  
This girl really turns my wheels.

The class instantly bursts into fits of laughter. Ms. Briggs continues.

"Her street clothes, her sneakers  
With a rose I will treat her  
I heart Samantha Puckett  
She's my love bucket.

The students laugh even harder. Even Carly is giggling her head off. Sam would normally stare daggers at her for this sort of thing, but right now she is frozen in place from shock.

Ms. Puckett reads the last line,

"Truly yours, anonymous."

'Who's ominous?" Someone yells out.

"That's anonymous, dummy. It means we don't know who he is." Another answers him.

The former guy sinks into his chair.

"I know who it is!" Camden announces. "It's Freddie."

"The computer geek?" Someone asks.

"Yeah."

"I didn't know Freddie was crushing on _you, _Sam." Gibby says, dumbfounded.

"No, it's not real! This is just... a prank, you guys! He doesn't really mean it!" Sam yells in protest.

"Sounds pretty serious, Sam." Carly remarks, half-jokingly.

Sam frowns at her.

"He _did_ give you a rose." She persists.

"He probably plucked it from some old man's garden or something." Sam figures, defensively.

Carly shrugs.

"I'm going to _kill _him if it's the last thing I do! If he hadn't moved from this class I'd do it right now!" Sam threatens.

"Well... you'll see him in History." Carly widens her eyes immediately regretting her words.

Sam smiles to herself. "Pay back time."

"Stop talking you two!" Ms. Briggs barks. She places the letter on her desk and turns to the blackboard to begin class.

Sam inwardly fumes for the rest of the class plotting her revenge. It wasn't until the bell rang and she and Carly stepped out of the room to go to their next classes that she got to speak her mind. "I decided what I'm going to do to him."

"What?" Carly says cautiously.

"Put dirt in his shoes!" She grins.

"You can't do that in class. You'll get in trouble... more trouble." She reconsiders as an afterthought.

"Then I'll do it in the morning at his house before he wakes up." She says casually.

"This is getting way out of hand. I still don't know why he's doing any of this in the first place!" Carly complains.

"I told you. I can't tell you."

"Why not? I want to know." She pouts.

Sam looks at her and pauses. "... that's classified." And with that, she walks away. One, to not be late for her class. And two, to have Carly not see the disappointment in her face. She doesn't like keeping secrets from Carly, but this one she just can't tell her.

Carly sighs to herself as she ambles to her own class. She notes to herself that Sam isn't sounding like herself lately. And she's got to figure out what's up, and before the day is over, or she's going to go crazy being left in the dark.

--

**Later in History class**

Miss Ackerman is not in a good mood. Fortunately, she's also not in a bad mood. At least, not so much. Something has ticked her off and as a result she's decided to simply torture her students with a long and boring video on the pyramids of Egypt.

As Miss Ackerman sets up the video, Sam stares at Freddie who is sitting directly in front of her. "I got your letter," she announces, hollowly.

Freddie turns around. "Oh, you did? I hope you liked it."

"Ms. Briggs read it in front of the entire class." She informs him, her voice still the same.

"Wow... well, anyway, I wrote it just for you." He smiles.

"I loved the 'love bucket' line, Freddie. It was hilarious!" Carly tells him excitedly. "I didn't know you could write poetry."

Freddie sits up straighter. "Thank-you. Yeah, I just kind of have a knack for it. Surprised me too, actually."

"I thought it was corny." Sam says in a huff.

"It was supposed to be." He responds. "Did you get the rose?"

"Yep. I threw it away." Sam smirks.

Carly frowns at looks at Freddie, waiting for his response.

Freddies shrugs it off, pretending to not care. "Oh, um, okay. It's no big deal." He faces the front, signaling an end to the conversation. The video begins to play.

"These phenomenal and breathtaking constructions are the pyramids of Egypt." The announcer starts. Already Sam's eyes begin to flutter. "They are the earliest and largest structures ever built. The only surviving wonder of the ancient world, the pyramids..." Sam plunks her head on her desk and dozes off.

**Please review.**


	7. 7th chapter

**Marsha is originally mine. Socko is not. :(**

"I love you, Sam. It's not an act. I really, truly love you." Freddie holds out a rose to Sam staring at her with nothing but pure passion.

She sneers. "No! You... you can't be in love with me! We hate each other!" Sam yells. Before her she watches the beautiful red rose droop down, losing its luster and life, and dim down in color until it is ashy black. She gasps in disbelief. "This can't work out!"

Freddie's eyes grow sad. "Then I must part. If we can't be together I must be going." He starts to walk away.

"Going where?!" She cries hysterically to his back.

He looks back with an unusually pained expression. "I must go. I don't belong here in your heart. I must go forever."

Sam cries in protest, "This can't be happening. You can't just _go_."

"But I must. Goodbye Sam." He floats away until he vanishes into thin air.

Sam runs after him stumbling into the smoke where he just stood. "No... no... no..."

"Sam!" Sam feels herself being shoved.

"No... no..." She continues.

"Sam! The bell!" Carly shoves Sam's shoulder again.

Wha-?" A drowsy Sam mumbles back, coming into realization.

"Wake up!" Carly looks at the clock on the wall.

Sam opens her eyes in a flash. "Oh." She grabs her things and runs out of the room with Carly.

"Meet me back here after school?" Carly manages to say before going to her next class.

"I can't. I have detention again."

Carly sighs in frustration, shakes her head, and heads to class. Sam does the same respectively.

**Later at Carly's place**

"Hey, Spencer." Carly says before getting a good look at her brother. She looks at him. "Uh, what are you doing?"

He stretches back reaching his arms as far back behind him as he can. He lets out a good groan. "Ahhh... yeah, that's the stuff. Feel the burn!" He smiles up at Carly. "I'm exercising. What else could I be doing?"

"Trying out for the circus?" Carly says matter-of-factly. It's not a bad guess really, she tells herself. His rainbow colored stretch pants are ridiculous looking. He doesn't seem to mind of course. She knows he's an artist and likes to express himself, but exercising isn't his thing.

"So where'd you get the big ball?" She asks him, putting her backpack on the sofa and walking past him into the kitchen to grab an apple.

"Socko lended it to me. It's a Swiss exercise ball." He stretches again. "I need to work out to impress Marsha."

"Oh, that new girl at the Wal-Mart?" He nods. "Yeah, she's cute. You should ask her out. She doesn't even know you like her. You never speak to her."

"Yeah well..." He smacks his lips together. "I think my awkward gawking gives her the message." Carly laughs and bites into her apple. "Ooh, apple-y."

"So where are Sam and Freddie?" He asks her.

"Sam has detention again. And Freddie... he's been acting a bit weird." She looks at her apple and takes off the sticker, forgetting it was there. She seems as if she's trying to distract herself from talking about Freddie. But at the same time she also feels she should tell someone - well, someone who isn't Freddie's mom that is.

"Weird? In what way weird?" Spencer slips off the ball and lands on the floor. He sits up and looks at Carly waiting for her response.

"He's been sending Sam flowers and love notes and stuff. I know it's all this pretend dating they have going on, but he seems to be putting a lot of effort into it. It's really ticking off Sam."

"Yeah, I bet." He pauses. "I thought he was in love with you."

"He is. That's the strange part." She sighs. "Anyway, it's Friday... I have no homework... I can't see either friend right now... I have nothing to do." She gives a puppy pout. "I'm down."

"Aww, who needs a hug?"

She doesn't even need to say 'me' anymore, she runs into his open arms and gives him a big hug. "Promise me something Spencer?"

"Yeah-huh?"

"If you get with that Marsha, don't keep secrets from me that leave me out okay?"

He smiles. "Of course. You're my baby sister."

She rolls her eyes and grins.

"Hey, let's go out for a movie, 'k? My treat." He offers.

"Cool. In that case, I'll make dinner."

"Ooh, maybe spaghetti and tacos." He grins in giddy anticipation.

**Please review.**


	8. 8th chapter

**I own the worm. It has no name.**

Sam frowns to herself. She mentally reminds herself she has 40 minutes left of detention to suffer through. At least she has the time to think to herself about the days' events. Mainly the Freddie related events. Especially her bizarro dream. 'He was acting nothing like himself. It was like something outta book.' She thinks smirking to herself finding that ironic - she doesn't read much. 'I shouldn't even be thinking about it. It was a meaningless dream that I had because of breakfast's pork rinds.' She reasons to herself. 'Yeah, that's it.' She thinks satisfyingly. 'Nothing more.'

'Yeah,' she thinks again, uncertain sounding in her head.

She still plans to put dirt in his shoes. 'Actually, mud would be better' she changes her mind, trying to come up with the worst way to get back at him. She just needs to find out how and when to do it. She brightens up. 'He has fencing practice after school from 4 to 6. Perfect. And his mom will be there, of course, with her ambulance-certified first aid kit. I just need to pick his place's lock. Easy enough... I've done it before.' She gloats to herself. All she needs is a hair pin and skillful hands.

"Ow!" A paper airplane crash lands in her mass of hair. Sam presses her lips together in annoyance, her thoughts rudely interrupted. This happens sometimes with her long hair.

"Oh, great. Now we'll never find it." A boy jokes. Another snickers next to him.

Sam sighs, ready for beating another guy up. Same ol', same ol'. And yet it never gets old. She cracks her knuckles together and stands up facing the boy, taking the teacher's momentary absence from the class to take a phone call as a chance to deal with this loser. She warms up by punching her fist into her palm, scaring him. He gulps. He knows she's not bluffing.

--

**Later that day**

Getting in was easy just as planned. Sam is clad in green camouflage cargo pants and a black long-sleeved shirt. She even has her cheeks smeared with black soot and on her head rests a black hat. Being the audacious girl she is the bucket in her hands holds not only mud, but a worm slithering around inside. She grins in mischievous delight and creeps around inside the dark house making sure to be quiet. Who knows... Spencer or Carly may find her - they're just across the hall - or worse: Lewbert. Sam grimaces to herself at the thought of Lewbert catching her. She needs to be careful to not bump into anything.

Sam acts like she's in an action spy movie. She dashes over to a sofa ducking behind it, keeping her bucket steady. Her eyes peer through the darkness trying to make out of her surroundings. She spots Freddie's room and casually walks into and straight to his closet. She sniffs, "Smells too clean to be a boy's room." She forgets to whisper. She thinks the rest of her thoughts, remembering she should stay quiet, 'Must be because his mom cleans his room every freakin' day.' Her own room is messy, just the way she likes it. She would suffocate having a mom like Freddie's. She'd have to roll around in dirt the moment she got out of her house just to liberate herself from all the lemon scented cleaning spray spritzed liberally all over the place. 'Cleanliness is next to godliness. Yeah, right. More like next to paranoid freakazoidness.'

She shakes her head. 'Focus Sam.' She finds a pair of his most expensive sneakers, Marc Jacobs, bought with his Techfoot money: they're completely white. She carefully pours the mud into one sneaker, and then the other (the worm plops right into the second pair). She puts them back into the closet and tiptoes out of the room with her bucket to wash it out back at her place. The deed had been done. All she needs to do now is wait...


	9. 9th chapter

**Wormy misses his apple home. A shoe is not good enough.**

"Aaargh!" The scream is heard all the way to Mrs. Benson's ears. She runs into her son's room.

"What's wrong? What happened?!" Her shrill almost hurt to hear, but Freddie is used to it.

"My shoes! My Marc Jacobs shoes! They're completely ruined!" He holds up one of the shoes, some of the mud sloshing out. Mrs. Benson runs back out and comes back in literally 8 seconds later. In her hand is a small vacuum already turned on in an angry hum ready to suck up anything foul.

"Give me the shoe!" She holds out her other arm and grabs one of the shoes. "When I'm done getting the mud out you need to go to the kitchen and-- ahh!" She yells right when she sees the worm sucked in the vacuum. She promptly drops the device and the shoe. "H-how did this happen?"

"I don't know, mom! I was getting ready to go to Carly's and when I opened my closet I saw my shoes covered in mud!" He sounds exasperated. How could this have happened he asks himself.

"Take them and wash them by the kitchen sink's hose. Clean the vacuum too! Get the worm out!!" She walks out scared out of her wits. Freddie sighs to himself. He's going to be late. And frankly, he's not thrilled about seeing that worm again either. He shudders to himself in disgust.

**At Carly's**

Freddie knocks at the door. Carly opens it smiling. "Hey Freddie! How's it going?" she says cheerfully.

"Terrible." He replies glumly. He walks in past her.

She follows him to the sofa. "Why terrible?"

"My shoes got ruined. I don't even know how it happened!" He throws his hands up in the air.

"Which shoes? How?" She questions.

"The Marc Jacobs ones. My most expensive pair." He sighs. "I found them filled with mud when I got home from fencing practice."

"Ooooh... that's bad." She frowns.

"Yeah, and with the money I only figured to buy one pair of shoes. The best I could find. Stupid, right? So now I'm stuck wearing my old ratty ones while my new ones are drying." He puts his feet on the table in front of them. The shoe laces are torn and the shoes themselves look ready to fall apart at any moment.

"Hey, get your stinky shoes off my table!" Carly laughs and pushes them off so his feet fall down onto the floor.

Freddie actually laughs despite the bad mood he's in. "So, whatcha up to Carls?"

"Waiting for Spencer to come back from the Hardware store."

"The Hardware store?" He asks incredulously.

"Yeah, well, he's still working on his face creation. I think he said he was going to try and find..."

"Oh. What's this for again?" Freddie interrupts.

"A contest on creativity. He found it in some newspaper ad and he has only another week to finish it. He's been putting it off doing his exercising," she grimaces to herself from the rainbow stretch pants memory "And now is rushing to get it done. See, he forgot about the deadline and then just remembered about it moments ago. We were supposed to go see a movie tonight, but... that's being held off for another day. I'm glad you're here though. I really could use the company."

"Sure thing, Carly. I hope Spencer finishes in time." Freddie says.

"Well, you know Spencer. He'll find a way." Carly tells him assuredly.

"Hello hello!" Spencer announces as he opens the door. He has a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Uh, hey Spencer." Carly looks at him with a questioning expression. She looks at his hands and sees fruit in a basket. "I thought you were going to the Hardware store."

"Well, I was **going **to..."

"Here we go." Carly tells herself aloud.

"But then I saw a Farmer's Market on the way and thought to myself, why use tools and junk when I could use FRUIT on my project as other facial... things."

"Won't the fruit go bad?" Freddie asks Spencer.

"Oh." Spencer looks at his oranges, bananas, berries and other assorted fruit in his basket. "Good point." He pauses. "I'll go to the Hardware store," he mumbles. "What are we gonna do with all this fruit?" He holds the basket up motioning to it.

"I can make a fruit tart!" Carly smiles. "I need to anyway. Freddie is down in the dumps today and needs some cheering up."

"Aw, what's wrong, buddy?" Spencer frowns.

"Ahh... my best shoes got ruined. Mud everywhere. I cleaned them, but I think they're ruined. I can't get all the brown color off from the mud." He says glumly.

"The Marc Jacobs ones?"

"The very same." Freddie sighs and puts his hands on his chin. "I need a fruit tart."

"You know... my friend Socko has a cousin, Booty..." Spencer starts.

"Booty?!" Both Freddie and Carly exclaim at the same time.

"Yes." Spencer continues, "He specializes in boots, but dabbles with shoes every now and then. I bet he could fix them right up in a jiffy for ya, Freddie." Spencer tells him as he puts the fruit away in the kitchen.

"What does he do with boots?" Carly asks.

"Information classified." Spencer says walking back towards the door.

"What??" Carly asks, surprised.

"Sorry, Carls. No can do. It's gonna be a surprise what he does with them. Socko tells me it's gonna be am-a-zing." He sings the last word. "I can't wait!" He says excitedly.

"Weren't you going to go to the Hardware store?" Freddie brings up pointing at the door.

"Riiiight. I'll get on that." He changes the subject. "Are you still gonna make spaghetti and tacos, Carly?"

"You're busy, so yeah I don't mind."

"A fruit tart **and** spaghetti and tacos?" Freddie asks about the strange dinner plan.

"Oh, as if anything surprises you anymore in this apartment." Carly laughs.

"In that case I'll be back in a few." Spencer leaves.

Carly turns to Freddie. "Fruit tart?"

Freddie smiles, "Yes, please."


	10. 10th chapter

**Mm... fruit tarts.**

Freddie stretches his arms as he sits on the living room sofa. "So... how was your day?" He questions Carly.

Carly takes a pie crust out of the refrigerator. "It was the same ol'. Remember I said Spencer was exercising earlier today?"

"Yeah." He says nonchalantly.

"Well, when I came home from school, and you were at your fencing practice, I saw him in these hideous stretchy rainbow gym clothes." She grimaces. "Anyway... we were supposed to go see a movie, but y'know, he had to finish his face creation... thing and so we couldn't go. I was going to make spaghetti and tacos for dinner in turn of Spencer taking me to the movie, but now..." She shrugs.

"So, no spaghetti and tacos?" Freddie frowns.

"I'll make fruit tarts for just now. Okay? I'm working on them." She says as she walks around the kitchen preparing the dish.

"Then, what _is_ for dinner?" Freddie asks.

Carly stops what she's doing and looks at him. "You don't live here." She puts her hands on her hips.

"Yeah..." He trails off.

Carly sighs playfully. "Sam does." She smiles and goes back to her tarts.

"Yeah, she pretty much does." Freddie laughs. One second later he gasps. "Sam!!"

Carly spins around stunned. "What?! What about Sam?"

"It was her!! _She_ put the mud in my shoes!" Freddie confidently accuses.

"Oh..." Carly looks down suddenly remembering something.

Freddie notices the change in Carly's mood. "What?"

"Uh, nothing." Carly tells him.

Freddie's eyes furrow. "You know something, don't you?"

"Nope!" She quickly says. "I need... to get back to the fruit tarts."

"The fruit tarts can wait." Freddie says as seriously as he can.

Carly puts on an 'I'm innocent' face. "Really, Freddie. It's nothing. Forget it."

He gets up and walks towards Carly. "Does it have something to do with Sam? Did she tell you she was going to do this? I'm right, aren't I? It _was _her!"

Carly pouts for being forced to tell. "Yes I do know! She told me earlier in class she was going to do something to your shoes. She told me dirt, but..."

"It was mud!!" Freddie says angrily.

"Right." Carly pauses. "Sorry, I forgot about it." She quickly apologizes.

"Yeah, well thanks. Does me a lot of good." He says sarcastically.

"No need to get mad about it. _I_ didn't do it." She says defiantly.

"You're still to blame. If you told me ahead of time, then I could've saved my shoes before she got to them." He goes back to the sofa and drops his body down on it in a huff. "They were my favorite shoes."

"I forgot." He doesn't respond to this. "... I am sorry, Freddie. Can I make it up to you by giving you a fruit tart when I'm done?" She says hopefully.

Freddie shifts a bit in his seat. "I... guess." He pauses. "Ah, I can't stay mad at you. I love you."

"Freddie!" Carly says sternly.

"Yeah, I know." Freddie says.


	11. 11th chapter

**All this story is belong to me.**

**The next day in the morning... actually, make that 2:10 in the afternoon**

Sam had just woken up and is in a great mood. Not only is it Saturday, but her revenge plan she knows must've worked out great. In fact, she's headed over to Carly's soon sure that Freddie probably went and complained to her about his stupid shoes.

She walks back from her kitchen eating a banana and goes to her calendar. The day before yesterday marked with a big, angry X. She picks up her black marker and marks a new X on the previous day. "Two days down." She smiles. This will be a cinch. She can make it through a whole week. "Pfft... yeah." She says aloud, agreeing with her thoughts.

**At Carly's**

"A fruit tart?" Says a questioning Sam.

"Yeah huh. Spencer bought a lot of fruit so I made fruit tarts. Freddie and I ate most of them last night, but there are a couple left if you want any." Carly offers.

"I had a banana for breakfast." Sam tells her, indirectly saying she doesn't want a tart.

"Oh come on, you can never have too much fruit." She states matter-of-factly.

Sam gives her a highly incredulous look.

"Well, anyway." Carly pauses and glances at Sam who is next to her on the couch. "Freddie came over because he, uh..."

Sam looks up and grins, "Found his shoes?" She laughs. "Yeah, I did a pretty good job on them."

"More like a pretty mean job. He was really hurt, Sam. And furious!" She says with a serious tone.

Sam's smile goes down. She doesn't like to be yelled at - especially by her best friend.

"They were his favorite shoes and now they're ruined." She stands up facing Sam. "Why'd you have to go and do that? All he did was write you a love letter! I mean, sure, it was a little corny and embarrassing, but what you did was way worse!!"

Sam stays where she is, but yells back, "I never asked for a love letter! Especially from Freddie! And anyway, you guys should be used of me doing this sort of stuff by now!"

Carly sighs. "He even gave you a rose." She mutters, mainly to herself.

"Which! Which I threw away thank-you-very-much!" Sam says, stammering. It's getting hard to stay mad at Carly.

"I... I'm going to go eat a fruit tart." She announces, upset.

Sam slouches in her seat. "Yeah. You do that." She watches Carly go into the kitchen.

Just then the door opens and Spencer comes in carrying a large brown box.

Sam looks at him with a curious expression. "What's with the box, Spence?"

He sets it down with a big grunt. "THIS... is a box of stuff!" He says proudly.

Carly walks in munching on a fruit tart. "Yeah, we can see that."

Spencer continues, "It has curtains, some bulbs, and all sorts of miscellaneous items for my furniture face creation."

"What are they all for?" Carly asks.

"I decided to turn the creation into a body. So I'm going to sculpt the body 'cause..." he chuckles, "We all know how much I love molding clay."

Carly nods.

"And the curtains will be the dress and the bulbs will be the buttons. Gotta keep with the theme of furniture-like stuff." He smiles.

"What's all this for again?" Carly wonders.

"Just a random project. Get the juices goin'! I'm an artist, Carly. I don't need to always make something for a purpose or a contest. Art is a form of expression."

"So you'll be working on that all day, in here?" She asks her big brother.

"Yup! Where else would I work?" He states with an air of obviousness.

"Okay then. Well, I don't want to disturb you so I'm headed over to Freddie's. I need to go talk to him." She stops and looks over at Sam, just realizing she hadn't heard a peep from her this whole time. "Want to come?"

Sam sullenly looks up at her, "Nah."

Carly is surprised. "Are you actually sorry for what you did to him?"

"No. 'course not. I just..."

"Yeah?" She wants to know.

"I'm sorry I got **you** upset. I didn't know you'd react that way." She says sincerely.

"Oh." Carly stops in her tracks. "Uh... it's okay. Really. I was just overreacting."

"No. You were right. You had every right to be mad." She affirms.

"I was?!" She's shocked. "I did??"

"Yeah I mean. You had to listen to a geek complain **all **about his shoes yesterday. Couldn't have been that much fun."

Carly laughs, having expected something completely different from Sam. "It's all right. Come on. Let's go."

"Eh, I'm hungry." She shrugs.

"I offered you fruit tarts." Carly reminds her.

"I'll just go out and get a smoothie."

Carly smiles, giggling. "They usually **are** fruit!"

Sam acts nonchalant. "Meh." She walks out. "See ya later."

"Later." She turns back to Spencer who is working on his creation. "I'm out!"

"Yo!" Is Spencer's only response as the door closes.


	12. 12th chapter

**I own my love of smoothies. **

**At a park**

Sam is sitting on a park bench sipping on a mango smoothie, lost in her thoughts. She still can hardly believe Freddie had the nerve to blackmail her - and all because he saw--!

She shakes her head not allowing her thoughts to get that far. "This is unbelievable. Why'd he have to come in **then**?!" She groans.

_"Were you fantasizing about me?" _His question repeats in her mind. Over and over again... that annoying little question. The one she didn't answer. All she could think was to lash out at him at the time. How _dare_ he ask her such a question!_ Her_... a Puckett. True or not, that question bugged the hell out of her. She couldn't get it out of her mind! She takes another sip and looks at her watch. She has been out there for well over 30 minutes. Sitting there... _thinking. _She inwardly laughs. 'Me: thinking. Riiight.' She gets up and casually tosses her finished smoothie into a nearby trash can. Above her she can hear some birds chirping cheerfully. "Ah, shut up!" She yells to the sky, grumpily.

That smoothie didn't help at all.

---

"Freddie? Open up. It's Carly." Carly announces to the door. 'Why won't he open it?' she wonders.

A few more seconds pass and no answer. Carly is getting impatient. "Freddie??" She calls out again, "Uh, Mrs. Benson?" Now she's getting desperate.

"My mom's not here." Freddie says from the other side.

Carly brightens up, glad to hear his voice. "Freddie!"

Freddie frowns. Great... he talked. Now she _knows_ he's here. 'Maybe if I don't say anything more she'll go away.'

"Can you open the door, please? I want to talk to you." She pleads.

Freddie looks at the floor mentally begging her to leave.

"Please? I know you're still mad at her, but we can work something out and I'll help."

Freddie decides to say something. "I rather be left alone."

Carly thinks to herself for a second before she says her next words: "She said she was sorry."

The door is quickly opened with a swing. Freddie stands there staring at Carly, "She did?!"

"Uh... yeah." Carly replies apprehensively.

Freddie narrows his eyes. "Wait, she wouldn't do that. This is _Sam_ we're talking about."

Carly sighs. "Okay, fine. She didn't. But she meant to."

"Oh! She _meant_ to." He spats out sarcastically.

"She _did._ At least... I think she did." Carly pauses. "Can I come in? I feel weird just standing here."

Freddie steps to the side allowing her to come in. She heads over to his kitchen table, cueing him an invite to follow suit. He sits down across from her.

---

**Please review.**


	13. 13th chapter

**Booty is a good friend.**

"Okay. Talk." Indicating for her to begin.

"Well Sam _did_ apologize." She starts.

"But..." He drones in a bored manner.

"She apologized to me." Freddie seems confused. "She was sorry I had to listen to you complain."

"Oh well that's nice! Gee, thanks for coming _all_ this way to tell me. I feel _loads _better!" He stands up in a huff. Carly reaches over and pushes him back into his seat. "Calm down. You know Sam. It's hard for her to say what she really is feeling. I'm sure she's sorry about the shoes. How about she and I replace them for you?" 'Thanks for making me waste my money here, Sam' she thinks.

"Nah... it's okay. It's not really about the shoes." He says in a more calmed voice.

"It's not?"

"Yeah, I mean. They're just shoes. I have other pairs anyway. Crummy ones though..." He mutters under his breath. "Hopefully 'Booty' will fix them up."

Carly laughs inappropriately. "Booty." She reiterates.

"To get back to my point... It's that she bothered to do this. I don't mind her pushing me around, but I just want my things left alone. Just for her to give me that_ one_ peace of mind."

"I guess so." She says unsurely.

"Don't you think it's the least she can do for me? I know she hates me but... I'm not really going anywhere. I'm part of the iCarly team. And I like you. I just have to put up with her because she's _your_ friend." He says definitively.

"She's your friend too." Carly states.

"Sometimes I wonder." His tone is grumpy.

"Okay look. I don't really know what's going on with this whole date business. Sam said it was something about blackmail." She remembered.

"You know?" He says shocked.

"I don't know _any_thing, really! But I don't care. All I know is it'll probably make you both pair things up if you go to the movies or something. You won't even have to talk or look at each other."

"The movies? Do I need to do dinner again too?"

"No." She says tiredly. "Just the movies. Nothing else."

"As long as it's not a chick flick I'm up for it. I just hope _she_ is."

- **Next scene back at Carly's place.**

"No! No no no and did I say? No!" Sam stomps around the room defiantly. She had been waiting around for Carly in her apartment, but now she wishes she hadn't bothered coming.

"It's just the movies! What's the big deal?"

"Because I'd be going out with Fred-ward! I see enough of him already." She says in disgust.

"It's dark in the theaters. You don't have to look at him. Just look at the screen and don't talk. You can do that can't you?"

"Why is this so important to you anyway?" She questions, turning to Carly.

"Because I want my friends back!" She walks up to Sam and bumps into something.

"Whoa, watch my body! I'm rushing here! Only got a couple days left to go." Spencer exclaims from atop his foot stool. He needs it because his creation is getting quite large.

"Watch your body?" Carly holds in a laugh.

Spencer motions to his body creation of furniture pieces. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah I do." She chuckles. She looks back to Sam who is at the door. "Where are you going?"

"Out. I just... need some time alone. I'll see you later." Sam leaves.

Spencer steps off his foot stool and goes over to Carly. "Aw, I'm sorry Carls."

She looks ready to cry. "I was just giving a suggestion. I didn't mean for things to go this bad."

"Aw come on. You guys have been through worse, right?" Carly just shrugs in response. Spencer purses his lips in thought. "Wanna help me?"

Carly's eyes go up to his slowly. "Uh... no?"

"Yeah, didn't think so." He looks dejected.

"Sorry, I just need a break. I'm emotionally exhausted." Carly heads to the door.

"Where are _you_ going?" Spencer asks her.

"I don't know. I'll be back soon." Carly walks out feeling out of sorts.


End file.
